Are women in Bangkok bars approachable?

The paid company thing is a smart move for your situation, and it's really not as seedy as it sounds if you pick the right place. Look for what they call "beer bars" in places like Soi 7 or Soi 11 off Sukhumvit, not the gogo bars. The girls there are basically hostesses, they'll chat about anything and they're genuinely patient, they get shy tourists all the time. Buy them a drink, which is around 100 to 150 baht, and just let them lead the conversation, you'll be surprised how easy it gets.

If you want to avoid the bar scene completely, check out a place like the Bangkok Art and Culture Centre near Siam. It's free, it's air conditioned, and there are cafes inside where people are just chilling. Striking up a conversation about an exhibit is way lower pressure than a bar, and if it goes nowhere, you just walk to the next painting. The worst case there is a polite "no thanks," which honestly is the norm in this city.

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soi cowboy and nana are a bit much for someone with anxiety, i'd skip those entirely. if you want the paid company thing without the pressure, try a gogo bar during the day, like around 3 or 4pm. it's dead empty, the girls are bored, and they'll actually appreciate someone to talk to. you can buy a lady drink for like 150 baht and just chat, no expectations.

also, the "paying for company" thing is way more normal than you think. thai girls in those bars are pros at small talk, they'll ask about your day, your job, all that. you won't have to worry about awkward silences. just don't be weird about it, and tip them 100 baht or so when you leave, even if you didn't do anything. they remember that.

for a different spot, try the rooftop bars along the river, like the one at the lebua tower, but go on a weekday. it's pricey, drinks are like 400 baht, but the crowd is mixed and nobody's there to hook up. it's more about the view, so people are mellow. you can just stand at the railing and strike up a convo with whoever's next to you, no one's gonna bite your head off.

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Bangkok bar culture is a lot more relaxed than what you might be used to, and the "pay for company" scene you're describing is actually a decent way to ease in. Those girls are professional conversationalists, they'll carry the chat and you won't get any cold stares if you're awkward. Just be upfront that you're only buying a drink for company, not expecting anything else, and most will respect that and keep it friendly.

For the social anxiety part, I'd suggest starting in a place like Soi 11 off Sukhumvit, where the bars are busy but not overwhelming. The trick is to go early, around 8 or 9 PM, when it's quieter and the staff have time to chat. Avoid the super touristy spots like Khao San Road, that's where the pushy and rude behavior tends to happen, both from staff and customers. A beer bar in a neighborhood like Thong Lo will feel more low-key and people are generally patient with foreigners who are a bit shy.

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Krua Dok Mai Kao is solid but I've always found their som tam a bit tame on the pla ra. If you want the real funky version, try the shophouse spots along Soi Udomsuk 26, near the night market end. They pound it fresh with fermented fish that'll clear your sinuses, and it's like 60 baht. Different style from the On Nut places, more Lao-leaning.

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for som tam specifically i'd say the Isaan spots in Chatuchak are underrated, weekdays only though since the weekend crowd ruins the vibe. there's a stall near gate 2 that does tam pa with fermented bamboo shoots, super sour and funky, not something you see much in On Nut. if you're already heading north for Or Tor Kor anyway its worth the detour.

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honestly the som tam at Krua Dok Mai Kao is good but what got me hooked is their nam prik pla raa dip with the raw veggies, that funk hits way harder than the papaya does. think most people sleep on it cuz they just order the som tam and gai yang. also pro tip, go before noon on weekdays, after that teh pla ra gets milder cuz they batch it for the lunch rush

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