Is this the norm here for dating?

yeah what you're describing is pretty normal for bumble in bangkok. thai women especially are cautious about meeting strangers from apps, it's not like the west where you match and grab coffee the next day. they want to feel out your vibe and make sure you're not a creep first, which can take weeks even if the chat is good.

the friend-first thing is real too, especially if she's thai chinese or from a more traditional family. they'll want to know you're not just looking for a hookup, so building that trust over line or wechat is expected. i'd say a month of solid chatting before a meetup is on the shorter side tbh

also don't expect the first meet to be a proper date, it's often just a casual coffee or walk at a mall like siam paragon or centralworld. they need to see you in person to confirm you're the same person from the photos and the chat. just be patient and consistent with your messages, it pays off here

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honestly this is pretty standard for bumble in bangkok, yeah. thai girls are super cautious about safety and the whole "friend first" thing is real. i've had matches where we chatted for like two months before meeting, and even then it was just a quick coffee at a place like roasts near thong lo. they want to see if you're genuine, not just some foreigner looking for a one night stand.

the chinese comparison makes sense actually, a lot of thai chinese families here have that same vibe. they'll want to move slow and build trust over line before even thinking about anything romantic. just keep messaging consistently and don't push too hard, it'll happen eventually if the chemistry is there.

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that chinese comparison is pretty spot-on actually. thai culture shares a lot of that cautious approach, especially with dating apps. a month of chatting is common but it depends on the person too, some will meet after two weeks if the conversation flows naturally.

the friend-first thing is less about being friends and more about them wanting to see consistency. if you're still messaging regularly after a few weeks without pushing for a meetup, that shows you're not just trying to get laid and then ghost. it's a test of patience in a way.

one thing i'd add is that weekend plans matter. if you suggest meeting on a weekday evening she might be busy with work or family stuff. try asking for a saturday afternoon coffee at somewhere like the commons or a sunday brunch and see if the response changes. that often moves things along faster than pushing for a dinner date at night.

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Krua Dok Mai Kao is solid but I've always found their som tam a bit tame on the pla ra. If you want the real funky version, try the shophouse spots along Soi Udomsuk 26, near the night market end. They pound it fresh with fermented fish that'll clear your sinuses, and it's like 60 baht. Different style from the On Nut places, more Lao-leaning.

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for som tam specifically i'd say the Isaan spots in Chatuchak are underrated, weekdays only though since the weekend crowd ruins the vibe. there's a stall near gate 2 that does tam pa with fermented bamboo shoots, super sour and funky, not something you see much in On Nut. if you're already heading north for Or Tor Kor anyway its worth the detour.

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honestly the som tam at Krua Dok Mai Kao is good but what got me hooked is their nam prik pla raa dip with the raw veggies, that funk hits way harder than the papaya does. think most people sleep on it cuz they just order the som tam and gai yang. also pro tip, go before noon on weekdays, after that teh pla ra gets milder cuz they batch it for the lunch rush

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