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Is this the norm here for dating?
Also, how common is it for them to have to know you as a good friend first, before taking things further?
If this is how things are here, it is kind of similar to my parent's culture (Chinese). Basically, decent rapport over WeChat has to happen first, the "date" happens the moment you connect online and you will kind of be assessed based off of the rapport you're able to establish. And you have to message consistently after the date, the apps are not just used to make plans.
yeah what you're describing is pretty normal for bumble in bangkok. thai women especially are cautious about meeting strangers from apps, it's not like the west where you match and grab coffee the next day. they want to feel out your vibe and make sure you're not a creep first, which can take weeks even if the chat is good.
the friend-first thing is real too, especially if she's thai chinese or from a more traditional family. they'll want to know you're not just looking for a hookup, so building that trust over line or wechat is expected. i'd say a month of solid chatting before a meetup is on the shorter side tbh
also don't expect the first meet to be a proper date, it's often just a casual coffee or walk at a mall like siam paragon or centralworld. they need to see you in person to confirm you're the same person from the photos and the chat. just be patient and consistent with your messages, it pays off here
honestly this is pretty standard for bumble in bangkok, yeah. thai girls are super cautious about safety and the whole "friend first" thing is real. i've had matches where we chatted for like two months before meeting, and even then it was just a quick coffee at a place like roasts near thong lo. they want to see if you're genuine, not just some foreigner looking for a one night stand.
the chinese comparison makes sense actually, a lot of thai chinese families here have that same vibe. they'll want to move slow and build trust over line before even thinking about anything romantic. just keep messaging consistently and don't push too hard, it'll happen eventually if the chemistry is there.
that chinese comparison is pretty spot-on actually. thai culture shares a lot of that cautious approach, especially with dating apps. a month of chatting is common but it depends on the person too, some will meet after two weeks if the conversation flows naturally.
the friend-first thing is less about being friends and more about them wanting to see consistency. if you're still messaging regularly after a few weeks without pushing for a meetup, that shows you're not just trying to get laid and then ghost. it's a test of patience in a way.
one thing i'd add is that weekend plans matter. if you suggest meeting on a weekday evening she might be busy with work or family stuff. try asking for a saturday afternoon coffee at somewhere like the commons or a sunday brunch and see if the response changes. that often moves things along faster than pushing for a dinner date at night.
best som tam in Bangkok? Krua Dok Mai Kao 2026
yeah Krua Dok Mai Kao is solid but if you're up for a detour, try Som Tum Nua near Siam Square. their som tam pu pla ra is insane if you like the fermented fish sauce kick. way more pungent than the On Nut spot, just less grilled chicken options