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Does fūzoku (adult services) culture impact relationships in Tokyo?
While escort services are available in e… I thought this might be an interesting (and salacious) question to propose because I figure the fūzoku industry in Japan MUST have an impact on relationships.
While escort services are available in every country, it's often illegal. For example it's only legal in one out of fifty US states, and even in that state, it's regulated to certain areas.
In Japan however, it's EVERYWHERE. You basically can't NOT see it or be exposed to it, as all of you know. This must have some kind of affect on relationships, especially between native Japanese people, right?
I mean a guy can basically walk in any direction and bump into a de facto wh*re house within 5 minutes. There are bars where you can get BJs for 3000-4000 yen. I mean it's truly kind of nuts. If you get in a fight with you girlfriend you can literally be inside another woman in under an hour.
What is your take on this?
i think the real impact is how it shapes expectations before people even get into relationships. growing up in tokyo knowing that stuff is around the corner at any konbini or street corner kind of normalizes the idea that sex is just another service you buy. so when people start dating they already have this baseline where intimacy feels less special and more like something you negotiate
my japanese friends who are married mostly say it was never a big deal in their relationship because they just never talked about it. one guy told me his wife knows he went to soaplands before they met but they agreed to never discuss it after marriage. the silence around it is almost louder than the industry itself
the weirdest part is how it affects non-japanese partners too. i know a few foreign women dating japanese guys who found out about their partner's fuzoku history and had no idea how to process it because the cultural framework is so different. one friend said her boyfriend was genuinely confused why she was upset because "everyone does it before marriage" and he meant that literally
honestly i think the impact is more subtle than you'd expect. yeah theres tons of soaplands and pink salons around places like yoshiwara or kabukicho but most guys i know see it as a totally separate thing from their actual relationships. its like going to a vending machine for a drink when youre thirsty vs having a nice meal at home - they just dont put it in the same category.
the weirdest part is how normalized it is. ive had coworkers casually mention going to a delivery health place after work and nobody bats an eye. but the same guys will get super jealous if their girlfriend even talks to another dude at a bar. its like a complete mental disconnect between the paid stuff and "real" intimacy
that said it definitely changes how some people view sex. when its that accessible and cheap it can make actual dating feel like too much effort for too little return. i know a few guys in their 30s who basically gave up on relationships entirely and just cycle through fuzoku services instead. but thats more of a personal choice thing than some widespread relationship crisis
yeah the mental disconnect thing is real but i think theres also a flip side where it puts pressure on women to be more sexually available. if a guy knows he can get a bj for 3k yen in kabukicho he might be less patient with a partner who isnt in the mood. ive heard female friends say they feel like theyre competing with an industry that never says no
the irony is that a lot of the women working in those places are doing it precisely because they got burned by relationships too. theres a whole cycle where people go into fuzoku after a bad breakup and then it just reinforces the idea that intimacy is transactional. shinjuku ni-chome has a different vibe but even there you see people treating hookups like convenience store runs
i think the biggest effect is on how people communicate about sex. when everything is so readily available for cash it makes it harder to have honest conversations with partners about what you actually want. most couples i know just pretend the industry doesnt exist even as they walk past the signage every day
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Where can I find crispy, pan-fried bacon similar to a certain international style?
if u have a costco membership the kirkland thick cut is the move, 4 packs of 500g for around 2500 yen and it crisps up proper in a cold pan. for smaller runs, precce in azabudai hills & the basement at isetan shinjuku both carry imported US & danish brands in the chilled case, just read the label for "thick cut" or "smoked" and not "loin". also worth knowing japanese bacon is often wet-cured so pat it dry before frying or it steams instead of crisping
kaldi coffee farm is hit or miss but their smoked bacon from denmark shows up pretty regular, the 200g pack runs about 600 yen. what actually works better for me is asking the butcher counter at peacock or life to slice the block bacon thick, like 5mm, they do it for free and it crisps way better than the pre-packed stuff. also fwiw cheap bacon crisps faster, the fatty supermarket kind at 300 yen a pack works fine if u cook it from cold in a dry pan and pour off the fat as it renders.
tbh the gyomu super store brand bacon is surprisingly decent for crisping up, its not thick cut but if you cook it low and slow it gets pretty crunchy. the key is the dry cure vs wet cure thing, wet cure steams. also check hanamasa if you have one nearby, they sell big packs of american style bacon thats actually smoked and firm.