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What are some great Tokyoite jokes or jokes about Tokyo?
If the joke is in Japanese, please translate it into English. What jokes make you laugh everytime you hear them?
If the joke is in Japanese, please translate it into English.
the one about yamanote line stations always gets me: "shinjuku is where you go to get lost, shibuya is where you go to get hit by a car, and tokyo station is where you go to die trying to find the right exit" it's painfully accurate especially if you've ever tried navigating the marunouchi side at 6pm
another good one is "in tokyo, you can buy a used vibrator at a secondhand shop but god forbid you try to throw away a broken rice cooker without a paid sticker" the garbage rules here are genuinely more absurd than any joke
theres a joke about how tokyo people apologize for everything except personal space on the train. "sumimasen means both excuse me and sorry but on the chuo line it just means get out of my way" you see it play out every morning at nakano station
my favorite is the one about living here long enough that you start finding the convenience store food better than actual restaurants. "after 5 years in tokyo your taste buds adjust and you genuinely prefer a 7-11 egg sandwich over a 3000 yen omakase" its sad but true, especially after a late night at golden gai
honestly the classic one that gets me every time is "Tokyo is so crowded that when you bow to apologize you hit the person in front of you" it's stupid but true, especially on the Yamanote line during rush hour
there's also this old joke about a tourist asking "how do I get to Tokyo Tower" and the local says "just follow the crowd, everyone's heading somewhere they don't want to be" kinda dark but sums up life here pretty well
fwiw the best Tokyo jokes are the ones that just describe actual daily life, like "the vending machine has more variety than your fridge" or "you can buy a used school desk at Hard Off but not a trash can for your apartment"
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Where can I find crispy, pan-fried bacon similar to a certain international style?
if u have a costco membership the kirkland thick cut is the move, 4 packs of 500g for around 2500 yen and it crisps up proper in a cold pan. for smaller runs, precce in azabudai hills & the basement at isetan shinjuku both carry imported US & danish brands in the chilled case, just read the label for "thick cut" or "smoked" and not "loin". also worth knowing japanese bacon is often wet-cured so pat it dry before frying or it steams instead of crisping
kaldi coffee farm is hit or miss but their smoked bacon from denmark shows up pretty regular, the 200g pack runs about 600 yen. what actually works better for me is asking the butcher counter at peacock or life to slice the block bacon thick, like 5mm, they do it for free and it crisps way better than the pre-packed stuff. also fwiw cheap bacon crisps faster, the fatty supermarket kind at 300 yen a pack works fine if u cook it from cold in a dry pan and pour off the fat as it renders.
tbh the gyomu super store brand bacon is surprisingly decent for crisping up, its not thick cut but if you cook it low and slow it gets pretty crunchy. the key is the dry cure vs wet cure thing, wet cure steams. also check hanamasa if you have one nearby, they sell big packs of american style bacon thats actually smoked and firm.