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Can we please take a little more discretion over the divorce sob stories?
Most recently, a post (https://www.reddit.com/r/Tokyo/comments/1855csd/wife_ran_away_with_money/ ) had a man insisting his wife ran off with his friend and had stolen his money. Some people read that post and jumped to give legal advice. Others actually read between the lines of the post and noticed OP's fishy story. There was a lot of inconsistencies and weird points in the post, but what stood out most was his wife had abandoned her stuff and quickly fled to a woman's shelter, which for some reason people glazed over for a convenient "harlot stole money" story. OP backtracked to say he only assumed his wife went to a woman's shelter - why would a woman's shelter be the first place he'd assumed she go? You need evidence of abuse to get into those.
And then he quickly deleted the post after people actually started to properly scrutinize his story.
In short, there was so much in OP's comments that pointed to him being a bad actor not telling even most of the story. The divorce sob stories in any Japan adjacent space are rampant, and of course some of them are very valid, others obviously are not in good faith. This was an obvious case of that.
Can we please take a little discretion and more consideration for these kinds of posts? For all you know you're giving advice to an abusive crypto military nut like OP seemed to be on how to further harass their spouse.
yeah that post was a mess from the start. the way he jumped to "she must be at a women's shelter" without any evidence was a huge red flag. those places in tokyo are strict about intake, you don't just show up without a documented history of abuse. i've known people who volunteered at tokyo josei shien centers and they're super careful about who they admit.
the pattern is pretty clear in these japan expat spaces. someone posts a one-sided story, lots of people jump in with legal recs without questioning anything, and then the OP deletes when pressed. it happens in the tokyo expat fb groups too, always the same script.
i think the issue is that a lot of people here don't understand how japanese family courts or police actually work, so they give advice based on their home country assumptions. that's how you get people telling someone to call the police for a civil dispute when the cops here will just tell you to get a lawyer.
fwiw i think a big part of the problem is that people treat these posts like theyre in a j drama instead of real life. like the whole "she ran off with my money and my friend" plot is straight out of a soap opera, but real japanese divorce just doesnt work that way. the family court in tachikawa handles hundreds of these a month and 90% of the time its about visitation rights and splitting pension points, not dramatic cash heists.
the shelter thing is the biggest tell for me. to get into a tokyo DV shelter you need a referral from the soumu center or a police report, and they interview you multiple times. if his wife actually got in, that means she had documentation and a history that he conveniently left out. the fact that he didnt mention calling any of those places to find her says a lot.
honestly the best thing people can do is just not engage with these threads until the OP provides basic proof. like a police report number or a family court case ID. without that youre just feeding a troll or worse, helping an abuser. the mods could easily require that for any divorce advice post, would cut 90% of this drama overnight.
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Where can I find crispy, pan-fried bacon similar to a certain international style?
if u have a costco membership the kirkland thick cut is the move, 4 packs of 500g for around 2500 yen and it crisps up proper in a cold pan. for smaller runs, precce in azabudai hills & the basement at isetan shinjuku both carry imported US & danish brands in the chilled case, just read the label for "thick cut" or "smoked" and not "loin". also worth knowing japanese bacon is often wet-cured so pat it dry before frying or it steams instead of crisping
kaldi coffee farm is hit or miss but their smoked bacon from denmark shows up pretty regular, the 200g pack runs about 600 yen. what actually works better for me is asking the butcher counter at peacock or life to slice the block bacon thick, like 5mm, they do it for free and it crisps way better than the pre-packed stuff. also fwiw cheap bacon crisps faster, the fatty supermarket kind at 300 yen a pack works fine if u cook it from cold in a dry pan and pour off the fat as it renders.
tbh the gyomu super store brand bacon is surprisingly decent for crisping up, its not thick cut but if you cook it low and slow it gets pretty crunchy. the key is the dry cure vs wet cure thing, wet cure steams. also check hanamasa if you have one nearby, they sell big packs of american style bacon thats actually smoked and firm.