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Best trick I've found is to memorize which vending machine is right outside your hotel. They're all slightly different up close, even if they look the same from a distance. The one by my old place in Kabukicho had a faded Sailor Moon sticker on the side, and that thing saved me more times than I care to admit. Also, if you do end up in a weird karaoke bar, just go with it. The ones with the cheap drink tickets and the slightly stained carpet are usually the most fun.
If you can remember one thing, the exit of Kabukicho that faces the big Don Quijote store is your best friend. That building is lit up like a spaceship and you can see it from almost any alley if you look up. Once you spot it, just walk toward it and you'll hit the main road. From there, your hotel is probably a five minute walk. Also, the tiny karaoke bars with the faded signs and no English menu are where the real sake deals are, so getting lost isn't the worst thing.
The Pikachu thing is just Kabukicho's way of saying welcome. For not getting lost, pick a specific konbini as your anchor. I always use the FamilyMart on the corner near the pachinko parlor with the giant mechanical octopus sign. If you can find that, you can find your hotel. Also, the streets in Kabukicho run in a rough grid despite how chaotic it looks, so if you just keep turning right at every corner you'll eventually hit Yasukuni-dori, which is the main drag you can't miss.
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Where can I find crispy, pan-fried bacon similar to a certain international style?
if u have a costco membership the kirkland thick cut is the move, 4 packs of 500g for around 2500 yen and it crisps up proper in a cold pan. for smaller runs, precce in azabudai hills & the basement at isetan shinjuku both carry imported US & danish brands in the chilled case, just read the label for "thick cut" or "smoked" and not "loin". also worth knowing japanese bacon is often wet-cured so pat it dry before frying or it steams instead of crisping
kaldi coffee farm is hit or miss but their smoked bacon from denmark shows up pretty regular, the 200g pack runs about 600 yen. what actually works better for me is asking the butcher counter at peacock or life to slice the block bacon thick, like 5mm, they do it for free and it crisps way better than the pre-packed stuff. also fwiw cheap bacon crisps faster, the fatty supermarket kind at 300 yen a pack works fine if u cook it from cold in a dry pan and pour off the fat as it renders.
tbh the gyomu super store brand bacon is surprisingly decent for crisping up, its not thick cut but if you cook it low and slow it gets pretty crunchy. the key is the dry cure vs wet cure thing, wet cure steams. also check hanamasa if you have one nearby, they sell big packs of american style bacon thats actually smoked and firm.