Create meetup in Tokyochevron_right
Select a place on the map to change the location.
I want to meet
Verified required?
wants to eat something at fmd_goodSmoke & Stone
wants to eat something at fmd_goodNonno's
want to meet at fmd_good The Print Room
wants to visit a museum at fmd_goodThe Print Room
wants to visit a museum at fmd_goodThe Print Room
explore Tokyo Guides
bar_chart Trends in Tokyo
Has the allure of Tokyo worn off for anyone else?
1) The salary is higher. Way… I recently went back to Southern California to visit my family for a few weeks and... I'm starting to think America might be a better place to start a family eventually.
1) The salary is higher. Way higher. I could be making maybe 90-150% more in the US than I'm currently earning in Tokyo given the current abysmal exchange rate. While it's true that cost of living is higher in the states... it's actually not that much higher if you calculate everything out.
Your job will likely cover your health insurance. I'm currently paying around 350,000 yen for a nice (but small) one bedroom in Minato. In LA I could get a much larger two bedroom on the westside close to the ocean for about 650,000 yen. Dining out is more expensive in America of course, due to the exchange rate, but without it, food is only like 30% more (remember, portions are also smaller in Japan) and you can just shop at places like costco.
So in terms of cost of living, you actually end up being able to save much more in America and be able to invest that, etc. It doesn't seem obvious, but you actually have a better financial quality of life in America if you have a white collar job.
2) Education and culture. I really loved Japan for the past 5 years, but I actually feel like Japanese people are kind of... "unworldly" sometimes. As a foreigner, I enjoyed it because it seemed like an alien world, and it was so much fun in my mid 20s... but as I get older I'm starting to see cracks in the system. I'm generalizing, but Japanese people seem to lack the ability to adapt to new situations. They are very proud of their cultures, and that's great, but they don't seem to know a lot of stuff about anything else. People like to think that they are quiet and polite and don't like to offer up their opinions, but I'm starting to realize it's because they don't actually have opinions. Like they literally just don't know much about anything outside of their unique culture.
On the contrary, Americans in major US cities are very well travelled, exposed to many different cultures, ethnicities, etc from a young age. Americans get made fun of for being dumb hillbillies, but in SF, NYC, LA, etc, I've met the most interesting people imaginable. America, for many reasons, mostly economic, still draws the best talent in the world and I kind of miss that. You can go to some high end bars in America and meet super cool, sociable people. In Tokyo, if you're speaking to Japanese people, even if they're sophisticated and doing interesting things, they still seem boring AF. Like everything for them revolves around "I'm a japanese person and this is my culture", whereas Americans seem more unique and interesting (sorry I know I'm being super offensive, but this is my perspective)
Japan is very safe, and the education is "good" but not great. I think it's a great environment for kids when they are young, but the education system and culture eventually turns people into submissive drones with little independent thinking or ability to forge their own way through life. I feel like the education system in Japan literally turns people into cogs. Again, I'm generalizing, but surely other people notice this.
In America, if you send your kid to an inner city school, he/she is likely fucked, but if you are able to live in a nicer area I think the schools are far superior to Japan's in almost every way except for demanding rote memorization, and excel particularly in being independent and creative.
As for colleges, it seems like the Japanese university system is not very rigorous. Very hard to get into a good school but you just cruise after being accepted. I went to University of Chicago and my courses were very demanding. I feel like I was challenged in college and push to my limits which prepared me for real life. Japanese people have a great work ethic, but when push comes to shove or if something goes wrong, I feel like they get frustrated easily and can't handle it, whereas American educated people can deal with adversity due to rigorous academic environments in university (talking about STEM degrees, idk about liberal arts degrees).
3) General malaise. I really, REALLY loved Japan when I first got here. It was so different, I love asian food, women, etc. The first 4 years were truly amazing and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything... but idk, it just doesn't feel like it can ever be my home. Obviously this will be the point where people disagree with me the most, but I'm just sort of over Japan now. It's not wonderful and fantastical anymore. It just feels like a country getting poorer by the minute, totally homogenized. I don't miss the homelessness and racial/political tensions in America, but, I really do actually miss the diversity. I miss talking to blacks and mexicans and asian americans, etc. I like the different perspectives whereas in Japan, I can literally predict with 98% accuracy what a Japanese person will say about any given subject.
Conclusion: I am confused.
I've been here 12 years and I get it. The salary thing is real - I know guys at foreign banks in Marunouchi who did the math and realized they'd be netting an extra $40k a year in New York even after paying Manhattan rent. But what you're describing about Japanese people lacking opinions, I'd push back a little. I think the issue is more that they have opinions they just won't share with a foreigner until they've known you for years. I've had conversations at 3am in Golden Gai with salarymen that were more genuine than anything I've heard from colleagues in the office.
The education point hits close to home though. I have a kid in public school in Setagaya and the elementary level is solid - they learn discipline and respect in ways American schools don't teach anymore. But I've talked to parents with kids in junior high and they describe exactly what you're worried about: the system starts squeezing out creativity around age 12 to focus on exam prep. My wife went through it and she admits she wasn't taught to question anything, just to absorb and repeat.
I think the real question is whether you want to raise kids who fit into Japan or kids who stand out. Both are valid, but you can't have both.
I moved back to LA after six years in Tokyo for almost exactly these reasons, and I'd add one thing you didn't mention: the social isolation gets heavier as you get older. In your twenties, the novelty and convenience carry you. In your thirties, when you want to host a dinner party or have neighbors who actually check in on you, Tokyo's social structure starts feeling like a glass ceiling. My Japanese friends were wonderful, but I was always the one organizing things, always the one reaching out.
The salary math is brutal right now. I was making 12 million yen in Tokyo as a senior engineer and now I'm at $180k in Santa Monica. Even after the higher rent and taxes, my savings rate doubled. The trade-off is I now spend 45 minutes in traffic to get to work instead of a 15 minute train ride, and I genuinely miss the convenience of konbini breakfasts.
On the education front, I'd look at international schools in Tokyo if you're serious about staying. They're expensive, around 2-3 million yen a year, but they offer a completely different curriculum. Some of my colleagues with kids at Nishimachi or St. Mary's seem satisfied with the balance. Though at that point you're basically paying American private school tuition to live in Japan, which makes the financial argument even weaker.
3 Days in Tokyo: Itinerary 2026
Start your morning at Shibuya Scramble Crossing, then walk to Meiji Jingu for a serene shrine visit. After lunch in Harajuku, head to Shinjuku for the Tokyo Metropolit… 🗼 Day 1: Shibuya & Shinjuku
Start your morning at Shibuya Scramble Crossing, then walk to Meiji Jingu for a serene shrine visit. After lunch in Harajuku, head to Shinjuku for the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building's free observation deck. End the day exploring Omoide Yokocho for yakitori and drinks.
🏯 Day 2: Asakusa & Ueno
Begin at Senso-ji Temple in Asakusa, arriving by 8am to avoid crowds. Stroll down Nakamise Street for snacks, then take the Tokyo Metro to Ueno Park for museums and a pond-side walk. In the afternoon, visit Ameya-Yokocho market for street food and bargains.
🌆 Day 3: Tsukiji & Odaiba
Arrive at Tsukiji Outer Market by 7am for fresh sushi and grilled seafood. From there, take the Yurikamome Line to Odaiba for teamLab Borderless (book tickets in advance) and a stroll on the beach. End with a view of Rainbow Bridge at sunset.
🚇 Getting Around
Use a Suica or Pasmo card for seamless travel on Tokyo Metro and JR lines. Most trips cost 180-300 yen, and a 72-hour Metro pass (1,500 yen) covers unlimited rides on 13 lines. Google Maps is reliable for real-time routes and train times.
🍜 Where to Eat
For budget ramen, try Ichiran in Shibuya (1,000-1,500 yen). For a sushi splurge, book a counter seat at Sushi Dai in Tsukiji (5,000 yen for a set). Convenience stores like 7-Eleven offer cheap onigiri and sandwiches for a quick breakfast.
🏨 Where to Stay
Stay in Shinjuku or Shibuya for easy access to nightlife and transit. Budget options include Capsule Hotel Anshin Oyado (3,000-5,000 yen per night). For mid-range, the Citadines Shinjuku offers studios with kitchenettes from 12,000 yen.
💡 Local Tips
Carry cash, as many small shops and restaurants don't accept cards. Download a translation app like Google Translate for menus and signs. Avoid rush hour (7:30-9am and 5-7pm) on trains to stay comfortable.
solid itinerary, the teamLab tip about midday slots is spot on. for day 3, instead of heading straight to Odaiba from Tsukiji, take a 10-minute walk to Hamarikyu Gardens. it's this old daimyo garden right on the water, total contrast to the market chaos. you can catch a water bus from there to Odaiba, it goes under Rainbow Bridge and drops you right by the ferris wheel. costs about 600 yen extra but the boat ride is worth it on a clear day.
also for day 1, the Met Govt Building deck is free and has solid views but the queue for the elevators can get long around sunset. there's a smaller viewing spot on the 45th floor of the Shinjuku Center Building that most tourists miss, same free entry and way shorter lines. just a 5 min walk from the station west exit.
This is a solid itinerary. I'd suggest swapping the order of day one a bit. Meiji Jingu is right next to Harajuku, so you can hit the shrine first thing when it's quiet, then walk through the grounds and come out right at Harajuku station to avoid backtracking. The Yurikamome Line ride to Odaiba on day three is a great call, the views from the driverless train over Rainbow Bridge are a highlight in themselves.
One thing the guide doesn't mention is that the Tsukiji Outer Market has really pushed up prices for tourists, especially for sushi. If you want a more local and less crowded experience, head to the Uogashi area right behind the main market stalls. You'll find the same quality grilled seafood and tamagoyaki for a couple hundred yen less. Also, for the teamLab booking, the 9am or 10am slots sell out first, so grab a midday entry if you want to avoid the school groups.
for day 2, if you're at sensoji that early, walk through the back of the temple grounds to the small cemetery area. it's quiet and has a great view of the pagoda without all the selfie sticks. also, ueno park's museums are good but the national museum of nature and science has a really cool exhibit on the history of tokyo's subway system with old train cars you can walk through. my kid loved it more than the zoo.
the guide mentions cash but i'd add that some of the best food stalls in ameyoko only take coins and don't have prices posted. just point at what looks good and hand over a 500 yen coin, they'll give you change. i got a huge plate of grilled scallops that way for 400 yen and it was better than any sit-down place i tried