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Former Tokyo ex-pats, how did you feel after leaving Japan?
I lived in Tokyo for just over a decade and recently left.… Apologies if this has been discussed before or isn't allowed. Just looking for somewhere to share and maybe get some advice/similar stories.
I lived in Tokyo for just over a decade and recently left. When I decided to leave, I was coming out of a long relationship that I felt strongly wasn't going to work anymore. I had a beautiful apartment in a new building, a job I enjoyed, pets, and a fulfilling social life. But I felt utterly certain it was my time to leave, to try to reconnect with family I had barely seen in that decade and try to create a job and future in the US. I was in the process of getting PR as well, but canceled it because I felt so strongly my future wasn't there anymore.
Since coming back I've been a mess. The suburbs are isolating and I don't have to funds to move out of my family's home yet. I miss my friends, the comfortable atmosphere of Tokyo I was so used to, the freedom to go and do whatever I want. The US seems so foreign to me now and I don't know how to relate to people my age as locals haven't had the same experiences as I have. My social media accounts are filled with all my friends enjoying themselves in the life I threw away and I feel like I'll never be happy again. But I also know if I were to go back, I realistically could never lead the life I had in my early twenties again either.
Perhaps it sounds dramatic, but if anyone has anything to share or advice, would greatly appreciate it.
I've seen this hit a lot of people who came back after a long stretch. The thing about Tokyo is that it lets you build this really specific version of your life where everything is curated and convenient, and then the suburbs in the US strip all of that away at once. You're not just grieving the relationship or the apartment, you're grieving the entire operating system of how you moved through the world.
One thing that helped a friend of mine was to stop looking at the social media feeds entirely for a few months. Those pictures don't show the 30-minute commute on the Marunouchi Line or the rent increases or the loneliness that creeps in on a Sunday afternoon in Shimokitazawa when you've done all the vintage shopping you can do. You left for reasons that felt real and heavy, and those reasons didn't disappear just because your friends are still having fun.
The reverse culture shock usually hits hardest around month six, when the novelty of being back wears off and you realize you don't quite fit in either country anymore. It does get easier, but you have to give yourself permission to be a bit of a stranger here for a while. Maybe look for a Japanese grocery store or a community group nearby, something that gives you a small anchor to the life you had without requiring you to move back.
the third month back is the hardest tbh. that's when the grief hits different because the novelty of reunions wears off and you're just sitting there in your childhood bedroom. maybe treat the US like a new country you have to learn, not a homecoming. find one weird hobby that only
I don't think you threw it away. I think you finished a chapter and the next one just hasn't started yet. That limbo period is brutal because you're comparing your boring Tuesday in the suburbs to everyone else's Friday night highlight reel in Tokyo.
Something that clicked for me was realizing I had to stop treating the US like a place I was supposed to instantly slot back into. You spent a decade learning how to live in Tokyo. Give yourself at least that proportion of grace to figure out how to live here again. Maybe try finding a tiny piece of Tokyo routine to transplant, like going
Where to Stay in Tokyo (2026)
Shinjuku is perfect for first-timers who want nonstop energy, neon lights, and endless dining options. Budget travelers can stay near Shinjuku Station for easy acce… 🏙️ Shinjuku: The Heart of Tokyo
Shinjuku is perfect for first-timers who want nonstop energy, neon lights, and endless dining options. Budget travelers can stay near Shinjuku Station for easy access to the Yamanote Line, with hostels like Khaosan Tokyo Kabuki starting around $30 per night. For a splurge, the Park Hyatt Tokyo offers skyline views from $500 per night.
🌸 Shibuya: Trendy and Youthful
Shibuya is ideal for nightlife lovers and fashion-forward visitors, with the iconic Scramble Crossing right outside your door. Mid-range hotels like the Shibuya Excel Hotel Tokyu run $150-250 per night, while capsule hotels like Nine Hours Shibuya offer a budget option at $40. Families might prefer quieter streets just a 10-minute walk from the station.
🏯 Asakusa: Traditional and Budget-Friendly
Asakusa offers a glimpse of old Tokyo with Senso-ji Temple and Nakamise Street, perfect for culture seekers and families. Budget ryokans like Ryokan Asakusa Shigetsu start at $80 per night, including a traditional breakfast. The area is quieter at night, so night owls may want to stay closer to Ueno or Akihabara.
🌳 Ueno: Family-Friendly and Cultural
Ueno is excellent for families thanks to Ueno Park, the zoo, and several museums all within walking distance. Hotels like the Ueno Station Hostel Oriental I offer dorm beds from $25, while the Mitsui Garden Hotel Ueno costs around $120 per night. The area is well-connected by JR and metro lines, making day trips easy.
💻 Shibuya and Shinjuku for Digital Nomads
Digital nomads should look at Shibuya or Shinjuku for coworking spaces and reliable Wi-Fi. The Shibuya Stream building has a free coworking lounge, and nearby cafes like Fuglen Tokyo offer strong coffee and outlets. Monthly apartment rentals via services like Sakura House start around $1,000 in these areas.
🌆 Roppongi: Nightlife and Luxury
Roppongi is the go-to for upscale nightlife, with clubs like V2 Tokyo and high-end bars. Luxury hotels such as the Grand Hyatt Tokyo start at $400 per night, while business hotels like the Roppongi Plaza Hotel offer rooms from $100. The area is also close to art museums like Mori Art Museum.
🚃 Getting Around: Station Proximity Matters
Staying near a Yamanote Line station (Shinjuku, Shibuya, Tokyo, Ueno) saves time and money on transit. A 24-hour metro pass costs 800 yen and covers Tokyo Metro and Toei lines. Avoid staying too far from a station, as taxis are expensive (starting at 420 yen for the first kilometer).
💰 Price Tiers and Budget Tips
Budget travelers can find capsule hotels or hostels for $20-40 per night in areas like Asakusa or Ueno. Mid-range business hotels (Toyoko Inn, APA Hotels) average $80-120 per night. For luxury, expect $300-600 per night in central districts. Book early for cherry blossom season (late March to early April).
honestly the guide nailed it but i'd throw in nakameguro for anyone visiting in spring. the canal walk during cherry blossom season is insane, way less crowded than ueno or shinjuku gyoen. plus there's a killer onigiri spot called Onigiri Bongo that sells out by noon, and the area has a ton of tiny wine bars and vintage shops. rooms at the Claska hotel start around $120 and it's a quick hop to shibuya on the tokyu line
solid write-up, covers the big ones well. for my money, if you're a food nerd, staying near a good tsukemen or ramen spot is a legit strategy. i booked a hotel in takadanobaba once just cause i wanted to be walking distance from Taishoken, the tsukemen birthplace. that area is also full of student bars and cheap eats since Waseda Uni is there, rooms at the b:CONTE hotel run like $90 a night and it's two stops from Shinjuku on the Yamanote. way less tourist crush than Shibuya for late-night bowls
This is a solid breakdown, really covers the main bases well. One thing I'd add for anyone staying in Shinjuku is that the station itself can be overwhelming even for locals, so picking a hotel on the west side near the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building is a good hack. The views from the free observation deck there are just as good as the paid ones, and you avoid the chaos of the east exit. For cheap eats in that area, the basement floor of Takashimaya department store has incredible takeout bento boxes under 1,000 yen that beat most convenience store meals.